Introduction
Picture this: you’re making dinner, your child is restless after school, and after being frustrated, you hand your child a tablet just to get through dinner prep and the tablet buys you twenty minutes of peace. Later, you wonder, did I lean on screens too much today?
This is the quiet worry many parents carry. In fact, over 60% of parents say they worry about how much screen time their kids are getting. Screens are woven into childhood now, and the question isn’t whether to allow them, but how to keep them in balance.
At Kids Anywhere Play, we believe in balance, not bans. That means helping children build emotional regulation, stay connected to others, and make time for the kind of play-based learning that supports healthy growth. Whether your child is watching a cartoon, building with blocks, or FaceTiming a grandparent, each moment can support their mental health, if it’s grounded in connection and variety.
This blog will walk you through how to think about screen time for kids in a way that’s realistic, not rigid. We’ll explore how screens can both help and hinder emotional development in children, how to spot when your child might be using screens to avoid feelings, and how to gently bring more mindfulness, movement, and calming activities into their day.
You’ll also find practical examples and five simple strategies to help you manage screen time without power struggles or guilt. Because supporting your child’s digital wellbeing doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly, it means staying present, curious, and connected.
Why Balance Matters
Screens are part of how kids learn, relax, and connect. They can be a source of joy, watching a silly cartoon, playing a game with a sibling, or video calling a grandparent. But when screens become the default activity, they can start to edge out the things that support a child’s emotional development and mental health.
Children between the ages of 3 and 10 are still learning how to manage their feelings, focus their attention, and build relationships. These skills, what psychologists call emotional regulation and social emotional learning, don’t come from a single app or show. They grow through real-world experiences: pretend play, movement, quiet time, and connection with trusted adults.
That doesn’t mean screens are harmful. It means they need to be part of a balanced routine, one that includes space for play-based learning, rest, and calming activities. When children have a mix of screen time, physical play, and emotional connection, they’re more likely to feel settled and handle situations with more flexibility.
Here’s a relatable example:
A 6-year-old comes home from school overstimulated and cranky. They ask for the tablet. You say yes, because you need a moment to breathe too. After 20 minutes of a familiar show, they’re calmer. That’s not a failure. It’s a reset. What matters is what happens next: maybe a snack together, a quick game, or building a fort. That’s where emotional wellbeing gets reinforced.
Balance isn’t about strict screen time limits. It’s about noticing when your child needs to move, connect, or rest, and making sure screens don’t replace those needs.
Understanding Regulation: What Screens Can and Can’t Do
Children aren’t born knowing how to manage their feelings. Emotional regulation, calming down when upset, waiting their turn, handling disappointment, is a skill that develops slowly, with lots of practice and support.
Screens can play a role in this process, but it’s a mixed one. On one hand, a familiar show or game can help a child settle after a tough day. On the other hand, excessive screen time, especially when used to avoid emotions, can delay the development of coping skills.
Here’s a common scenario:
Your 5-year-old is melting down after preschool. You hand them your phone to watch a video. They calm down. That’s not wrong, it’s a form of co-regulation. But if this becomes the only way they soothe, they may miss chances to learn other tools: deep breaths, a cuddle, a quiet corner, or a silly game to shift gears.
Screens can support regulation when:
They’re used intentionally, not automatically.
They’re paired with connection (watching together, talking about what’s happening).
They’re followed by other activities, like sensory play, movement, or rest, that help kids reset.
Screens can get in the way when:
They’re the go-to every time a child is bored, sad, or angry.
They replace opportunities for social-emotional learning at home, like talking about feelings or solving problems with others.
They lead to overstimulation (fast-paced content, long sessions) that makes it harder for kids to wind down.
The goal isn’t to eliminate screens as a tool for calming. It’s to make sure they’re not the only tool. When children have a variety of ways to regulate, like drawing, jumping on a trampoline, or snuggling with a parent, they’re more likely to build lasting emotional flexibility.
Connection Through Screens, and Beyond
Screens don’t have to be isolating. In fact, they can be a powerful way to connect, especially when used together. Watching a show side by side, playing a game cooperatively, or video chatting with a grandparent can all support your child’s emotional wellbeing and sense of closeness.
This is especially true for younger children, who learn best through co-regulation, the process of managing emotions with the help of a calm, responsive adult. When you sit with your child during screen time, you’re not just monitoring content. You’re offering presence. That presence can help them feel safe, seen, and supported.
Try this:
Watch a short show together and pause occasionally to ask, “How do you think she feels right now?” or “What would you do if that happened to you?” These small moments help build emotional literacy and social-emotional learning.
If your child loves a particular character or story, use it as a bridge. “You’re building a tower like Bluey did!” or “That’s just like the game they played in the episode.” This kind of connection turns screen time into a shared language.
Screens can also inspire real-world connections. A child might watch a baking video and then ask to help in the kitchen. Or they might see a dance challenge and want to try it with you. These are opportunities to shift from passive watching to play-based learning, without forcing it.
The key is to stay curious. Ask what your child is watching. Join in when you can. And when you can’t, follow up later: “What was your favourite part?” These small gestures remind your child that screens don’t replace relationships, they can be part of them.
The Role of Play in Emotional Wellbeing
Play isn’t just fun, it’s how children make sense of the world. Through play, kids explore emotions, practice problem-solving, and build attention skills. It’s one of the most powerful tools for supporting emotional development in children, and it’s something screens can both inspire and interrupt.
When children are immersed in sensory play, imaginative games, or building something with their hands, they’re not just passing time, they’re regulating their nervous systems. They’re learning how to focus, how to cope with frustration, and how to express themselves without words.
Here’s where screens come in:
Screens can spark play. A child might see a character build a rocket ship and then try to recreate it with cardboard boxes. When screens lead to play-based learning, they become part of a healthy rhythm.
But when screen time replaces play entirely, especially the kind that involves movement, creativity, or social interaction, kids miss out on essential opportunities to grow. That’s when you might notice more restlessness, shorter attention spans, or emotional outbursts.
Try this:
After screen time, invite your child to “play what they watched.” If they saw a show about animals, suggest making a zoo with stuffed toys. If they watched a superhero cartoon, offer paper and crayons to design their own hero.
Keep a few open-ended materials nearby, blocks, play-dough, dress-up clothes. These invite spontaneous play, especially when screens are turned off.
Remember, you don’t have to entertain your child every moment. Just creating space for calming activities and unstructured play helps them reset and reconnect with themselves and with you.
Where Parents Often Feel Stuck
Even when you know the value of balance, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. Many parents carry quiet guilt about screen time, especially when life gets busy, emotions run high, or routines fall apart.
You might think:
“They’ve been on the tablet for an hour, I should’ve stopped it sooner.”
“Other parents seem to have it all figured out. Why can’t I?”
“I’m using screens too much just to get through the day.”
These thoughts are common, and they’re heavy. But here’s the truth: screens are not a sign of failure. They’re a tool. And like any tool, their impact depends on how and when they’re used.
It’s also worth remembering that kid’s emotional wellbeing isn’t built in a single day. It’s shaped over time, through small, repeated moments of connection, play, and presence. Some days will be screen-heavy. Others will be full of outdoor play and board games. What matters is the overall rhythm, not perfection.
If you’re feeling stuck, start by noticing when screens are helpful, when they’re a habit, and when your child might need something else: a snack, a hug, a run around the block. That kind of awareness is the first step toward managing screen time that supports your child’s growth.
Practical Takeaways: What You Can Try This Week
You don’t need a perfect plan or a colour-coded schedule to support your child’s digital wellbeing. Small shifts make a big difference, especially when they’re rooted in connection, curiosity, and flexibility. Here are a few ideas to try:
1. Watch Together When You Can
Even 10 minutes of co-viewing can turn screen time into connection time. Ask questions like, “What do you think will happen next?” or “How did that make them feel?” This builds emotional literacy and helps your child feel seen.
2. Create a “Reset” Basket
Fill a small bin with calming, screen-free options: play dough, colouring pages, fidget toys, or a favourite book. When your child seems overstimulated or restless, offer the basket as an alternative. It helps support emotional regulation without a lecture.
3. Use Screens as a Springboard for Play
After a show or game, invite your child to act it out, draw a scene, or build something inspired by it. This bridges screen time with play-based learning and keeps imagination alive.
4. Name What Screens Are Helping With
If you’re using a screen to get through a tough moment, say it out loud: “You’re feeling tired, and this show helps you calm down.” This models awareness and helps your child connect screen use to emotional needs.
5. Let Go of the Guilt
Most important. Some days will be screen-heavy. And that’s okay. What matters most is the overall mix: time to play, rest, move, connect, and yes, enjoy a little screen time. You’re not aiming for perfection. You’re aiming for balance.
Final Thought
Your child’s emotional wellbeing is shaped by thousands of small moments, not one perfect routine. Screens are just one part of the picture. With a little intention and a lot of grace, for them and for yourself, you’re already doing the work that matters most.